Maggie Jordan, one of the characters in Newsroom, says in one episode during Season Two that “The country is divided into people who like sex and people who are utterly creeped out by it. I’m one of the sex people.” As creepy as that description might be for those celebrity pastors who write books about how enjoyable sex is (read TKNY), the statement seems pretty accurate. Chances are most Americans agree about economic matters. Differences might emerge about tax rates but hardly anyone (except Pope Francis) is questioning consumerism and the benefits of buying. Most Americans agree on foreign policy. They might question a foreign war here or there. But a hegemonic United States is desirable across the aisle as is applause for American soldiers. No one disagrees about English as the nation’s language. No one questions the Constitution, though interpretations vary. No one seriously objects to the NFL.
But on sex we differ. In fact, the most contested aspects of political life surround either giving more freedom to sex (and reducing its consequences) or trying to put restraints on it. Make the left grant unlimited access to guns the way they seem to think about sex and make the right apply its logic about guns to sex and you might have a united country.
By the way, America’s sexual exceptionalism is not the most flattering aspect of national history. Until the 1960s pretty much every important thinker recognized that restraint in sexual matters was important. Whether Aristotle was telling Greeks not to imitate animals (who do enjoy unrestrained access to sex and its consequences), or Romans were advocating restraint of the baser passions, or Christians were arguing for chastity, pretty much all the major civilizational food groups disapproved of easy access to sex. Not so post sexual-revolution America.
Aren’t we great pretty good?
But here’s the solution. Why don’t we create two districts in the United States, one where people who like sex live and one where people who are creeped out about live. Let’s let (easier for me now that I’m in the Great Pretty Good Lakes region the sexy people have the Northeast and the West Coast, and we’ll give them Illinois and Minnesota for those afraid of hurricanes and tsunamis. The rest of the country will live and move and have their being in the unsexy district. In the latter, states will be free to pass laws against abortion, adultery, same-sex marriage, and pornography (which doesn’t include HBO). Both districts will still participate in the federal government. But the national government will recognize this fundamental divide in American character and respect the boundaries of the Sexy and Unsexy Districts.
Of course, the pro-unionists in the nation won’t hear of this because such a proposal the sort of thing that the South proposed with the creation of the Confederacy. And if you make an idol out of national union — please don’t weigh in on Northern Ireland or Israel, then — then I understand this proposal makes no sense. There goes the meaning of Abraham Lincoln. EEE GADS!
But if you are a federalist, then this idea should have some appeal. At the basis of federalism was the idea of granting real power to local authorities while participating in certain common endeavors for the good of the larger whole. This is what Protestants even tried to achieve with the — wait for it — Federal Council of Churches; a federation that granted powers to the member denominations while finding ways to cooperate on common projects, like transforming the United States into a Christian nation. Federalism is a great way to allow for serious differences in a country. If you only have nationalism, then winner takes all. DOUBLE EEE GADS!!
The real defect in this proposal is that the unsexy Americans who live in the Northeast and the West Coast (and Lake Wobegone) will have to move to unsexy territories. But that’s a heck of a lot better than becoming a refugee — think Syria. The same goes for the sexy people who live in South Carolina and Utah. They will have to relocate. But they will be able to keep their portfolio, won’t need to learn a new language, and can use the same currency. The also won’t have to convert to metric or Celsius.
The advantage in such a scheme is that over the course of a generation or two, we might actually see which is a better way to organize a society. Maybe sexy America will prove itself better in the long run, but where they will get new generations to replace the old is anyone’s guess. And maybe unsexy America will prove itself incapable of anything culturally or financially interesting. But the history of the human race until 1965 suggests otherwise. If unsexy America could produce H. L. Mencken, how bad can being creeped out by sex be?
Allowing your argument for the sake of argument, what it really means is that the progressives have successfully deconstructed American society and the only thing they’ve not quite finished with is sex. Americans used to differ quit a bit on all those things you say we don’t [anymore]. The progressives were very crafty in totally gutting the American republic leaving just the thinnest veneer — general elections — while completely replacing it with a totalitarian fascist state (but with a big smiley face). The American population though was all to happy buy into the great deceit, since the they were, from the time of the First
Great[although not really even that] Pretty Good Awakening, primed for just that kind of thing by the Presbyterians who not just debased the worship of God, but counterfeited it wholesale with the substitution of Watt’s counterfeit psalms for the real ones, Christ provided.LikeLike
I’m thinking of building a house on the border with my bedroom on one side and my kids’ on the other.
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How about a reservation for “not enough recent information to have a well-founded opinion”? A sort of agnostic area.
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Gosh, that Aaron Sorkin fellow is talented. His dialogues are always so thought-provoking.
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This may the OL post of the year.
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cw, you mean an area where we put kids and keep out priests?
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John Harmon, indeed.
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I agree with cwl’u. Best post EVER. You are so droll.
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CW, would those of us who are elderly males and have to take nitrates for chest pain be welcome on your reservation?
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AdD, give me your tired, your poor, your huddled baptists yearning to drink beer but not to be completely sexuallly free, etc. I love everybody.
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AdD,
Chortz really is a peach, just don’t cross him on Festivus.
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Dan, with sex only for the married and procreative in unsexy America, your heart should be fine.
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CW, but would there be dancing?
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Buck dancing. Google it.
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Careful CW! The last time you got a bit exuberant about something on oldlife the place went to pieces. But I agree…great post!
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The most immediate question is this: How will unsexy America consisting of those who are creeped out about sex maintain its population?
We should note that where there is agreement, it favors corporations and financial institutions. Despite the fact that our level consumerism is contributing significantly to the destruction of the environment and despite how our use of the military not only adds significantly to our deficit and debt problems, it is inviting more and more interventions which will eventually lead to the use of WMDs and despite the fact that Americans approach the paying of taxes in the same way the Greeks have been, what we favor first benefits the wealthy. And since it is the wealthy who own and manage our main media outlets as well as other institutions such as higher education and even some churches, is it any surprise that the big divisions that exist in this country revolve around personal differences? Don’t forget that gun control is another dividing line.
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Tedium, thy name is Curt. If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao you ain’t gonna to make it with anyone anyhow, so don’t worry about it. .
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“The country is divided into people who like sex and people who are utterly creeped out by it. I’m one of the sex people.”
A clever but fatuous lede, as is what follows. There are the people who are masters of their sexuality, and those who are mastered by it.
The destruction of the American family isn’t funny, nor is the widespread personal unhappiness that the emptiness of the Sexual Revolution hath wrought. The irony, of course, is that the elite chattering class Dr. Hart seems so desperately wanting to join are often as Puritan as he [I reckon] is, sexually abstemious, and usually from and leading two-parent families.
As Dennis Prager asks these pseudo-sophisticates, Why don’t you preach what you practice?
Once again the useful idiot for those who despise everything you hold sacred, man. They don’t respect you for stuff like this–any more than Mencken would have respected Machen if he’d have fed Bryan to wolves like himself. Pilate is not a moral exemplar.
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DG-
Most Americans agree on foreign policy. They might question a foreign war here or there. But a hegemonic United States is desirable across the aisle as is applause for American soldiers. […] No one seriously objects to the NFL.
Thanks to the fact the Pentagon has been paying NFL teams millions of dollars to honor troops and veterans before games? (http://www.businessinsider.com/the-pentagon-pays-the-nfl-millions-to-honor-veterans-at-games-2015-5)
No one disagrees about English as the nation’s language
Been to Miami or New Jersey lately? I’ll grant they aren’t making national claims. But English isn’t at all necessary to get by any more. The public schools and TV get the children preferring English, though.
But the state language of Illinois is “American.” Or was, 1923-1969.
(“Languages of Illinois,” Wikipedia)
There is a lot of insight regarding the Yugoslavia that is America in that little story.
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Federalism? But Americka is a (Political Big Lie #1) Democracy.
Andrew, what of the free will debasement of the gospel?
And if you don’t have the gospel, can you have gospel worship?
Could the arminians and the anabaptists have beaten those bad bad presbyterians to the punch?
–any more than Mencken would have respected Machen if he’d have fed Bryan to wolves like himself.
TVD, Mencken would have made mincemeat of a pompous ass like Bryan without Machen’s help.
For all his talk of ecumenical charity, Bryan buddy is a papist in the ditch throwing stones at the anabaptists in the ditch on the other side of the road all the while calling them P&R. For somebody who went to even a modern P&R seminary, this is still incompetentence. And Bryan thinks it’s question begging.
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Bob S
Posted August 5, 2015 at 1:16 am | Permalink
Federalism? But Americka is a (Political Big Lie #1) Democracy.
“–any more than Mencken would have respected Machen if he’d have fed Bryan to wolves like himself.”
TVD, Mencken would have made mincemeat of a pompous ass like Bryan without Machen’s help.
That was a private aside to Darryl, Bob. Good you picked it up but Darryl knows exactly what I’m talking about, as do the more more erudite readers of this blog. Even the ones who’ve only seen that lying move Inherit the Wind.
I don’t mean to insult you here, Bob, but my whole historical point directed toward Dr. Calvinism: A History [and Mencken Club member]. Exactly relevant to what you wrote.
Mencken would have made mincemeat of a pompous ass like Bryan without Machen’s help
Mencken did make mincemeat of him. Evil bastard.
What would have taken guts would have been to defend William Jennings Bryan, the great man that he was. William Jennings Bryan is why I admire your religion, Bob.
If Darryl G. Hart is throwing his lot in with HL Mencken, that’s too easy, too cheap, too weak, D. That’s surrendering to the culture, surrendering to Jon Stewart. If you let Terry Gray go the your [his!] church’s gallows over evolution, so much the worse for you, Elder Hart.
Sins are not just what we have done, but what we have failed to do, against our conscience.
Love MEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, says Darryl G. Hart. I love William Jennings Bryan, Darryl. Mockerists HL Mencken, snotty Jon Stewart, not so much. I think you’ve chosen the wrong heroes. We all want to be like Christ but sometimes we need to set more achievable goals. I think yours suck.
Mockery is the lowest achievement, the lowest debasement of the human mind. Animals don’t mock, only humans.
INRI
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I don’t mean to insult you here, Bob,
Why stop now, TVD? You’re on a roll.
Yeah, I thought you were talking about OL’s other good buddy. My bad.
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Don’t mean to insult you atall, Bob. You’re a good guy and you hit the vein here. Glad you returned us to seriousness. William Jennings Bryan was a good man although defeated by his own egotism; HL Mencken was an evil bastard, unredeemed even by his cleverness and slickness.
Which would you guess is in heaven? Which was Elect, the philosopher or the Pharisee?
Darryl? Haven’t you made your choice?
Bob S
Posted August 5, 2015 at 1:16 am | Permalink
Federalism? But Americka is a (Political Big Lie #1) Democracy.
“–any more than Mencken would have respected Machen if he’d have fed Bryan to wolves like himself.”
TVD, Mencken would have made mincemeat of a pompous ass like Bryan without Machen’s help
That was a private aside to Darryl, Bob. Good you picked it up but Darryl knows exactly what I’m talking about, as do the more more erudite readers of this blog. Even the ones who’ve only seen that lying movie “Inherit the Wind.”
I don’t mean to insult you here, Bob, but my whole historical point here is directed toward Dr. Calvinism: A History [and Mencken Club member]. Exactly relevant to what you wrote.
Mencken would have made mincemeat of a pompous ass like Bryan without Machen’s help
Mencken did make mincemeat of him. Evil bastard.
What would have taken guts would have been to defend William Jennings Bryan, the great man that he was. William Jennings Bryan is why I admire your religion, Bob.
If Darryl G. Hart is throwing his lot in with HL Mencken, that’s too easy, too cheap, too weak, D. That’s surrendering to the culture, surrendering to Jon Stewart. If you let Terry Gray go the your [his!] church’s gallows over evolution, so much the worse for you, Elder Hart.
Sins are not just what we have done, but what we have failed to do, against our conscience.
As a young man, Bryan had been open-minded about the origins of man. But over the years he became convinced that Darwin’s theory was responsible for much that was wrong with the modern world. “The Darwinian theory represents man as reaching his present perfection by the operation of the law of hate,” Bryan said, “Evolution is the merciless law by which the strong crowd out and kill off the weak.” He believed that the Bible countered this merciless law with “the law of love.”
Bryan was progressive in politics and a conservative in religion. According to biographer Lawrence Levine, “Bryan always mixed religion and politics. He couldn’t conceive of one without the other because religion to him was the basis of politics. Without religion there could be no desire to change in a positive way. Why should anyone want to do that?”
Love MEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, says Darryl G. Hart. I love William Jennings Bryan, Darryl. Mockerists HL Mencken, snotty Jon Stewart, not so much. I think you’ve chosen the wrong heroes. We all want to be like Christ but sometimes we need to set more achievable goals. I think yours suck.
Mockery is the lowest achievement, the lowest debasement of the human mind. Animals don’t mock, only humans.
INRI
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Curt, what I said:
“Maybe sexy America will prove itself better in the long run, but where they will get new generations to replace the old is anyone’s guess.”
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vd, t, is this the Bryan you love, the one who believed in a literal Adam and thought Darwinism was unproven? That one?
Plus, on your theology Bryan and Mencken are in heaven. Practice what you teach.
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Tom Van Dyke :”There are the people who are masters of their sexuality, and those who are mastered by it. The destruction of the American family isn’t funny, nor is the widespread personal unhappiness that the emptiness of the Sexual Revolution hath wrought.”
My Dear Wormwood, …He (the Enemy) made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden. Hence we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasure to that in which it is least natural, least redolent of its Maker, and least pleasurable. An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula. It is more certain; and it’s better style. To get the man’s soul and give him nothing in return-that is what really gladdens our Father’s heart…You see the idea? Keep his mind off the plain antithesis between True and False. Nice shadowy expressions-“It was a phase”-“I’ve been through all that”-and don’t forget the blessed word “Adolescent”, Your affectionate uncle, SCREWTAPE
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CW,
You need to do some reading. Not everyone on the Left likes chairman mao. In fact, it seems like Capitalists would like Lenin and Mao before Leftists like myself would.
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HAL: Look Dave, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
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D. G. Hart
Posted August 5, 2015 at 6:44 am | Permalink
vd, t, is this the Bryan you love, the one who believed in a literal Adam and thought Darwinism was unproven? That one?
He’s far easier to love than that sneering soulless piece of work HL Mencken whom you so misguidedly and pathetically try to emulate. The one part of Inherit the Wind they got right:
I suppose I am, HL.
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Ali
Posted August 5, 2015 at 9:44 am | Permalink
Tom Van Dyke :”There are the people who are masters of their sexuality, and those who are mastered by it. The destruction of the American family isn’t funny, nor is the widespread personal unhappiness that the emptiness of the Sexual Revolution hath wrought.”
Very well done indeed, sir.
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vd, t, you have to go to a movie script to ridicule Mencken?
That’s some Daleiden journalism.
And you complain when I don’t go to your approved RC websites.
For shame, for shame.
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Presbyterianism for sexy America:
The OPC will have to relocate its headquarters.
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Even if we knew which district Mencken would choose to live in, would he watch sexy you tubes?
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Make that two districts, one nation, one deep state:
Protecting Christian bakers and defunding Planned Parenthood won’t fix this.
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Evangelicals colleges for Americans who like sex and colleges for Americans who don’t:
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Politics of sexual identity:
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