17 thoughts on “One of the Two Kinds of People is Dead Wrong

  1. for peeved left lane drivers , order decals here : http://leftlanedrivers.org/

    my former pastor (a cat person) arranged to fit this into the sermon somehow as often as he could:

    The Dog’s Diary
    8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 PM – Dinner! My favorite thing!
    7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    The Cat’s Diary
    Day 983 of my captivity.
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities.
    However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He has obviously gone mad.
    The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

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  2. The solution is to set the minimum left-hand lane speed to 15mph above the speed limit. Left lane = automatic ticket.

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  3. We might call it a convenience fee for driving in the express lane. Georgia calls it the peach pass near Atlanta. I don’t think you can “legally” speed, but the cars zip by pretty quick and I’ve never seen anyone get pulled over from that lane.

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  4. sdb says: @Ali so is that a pet world and life view?

    funny.. don’t think my pastor ever pretended a serious application –he just liked excuse to show the chart, but maybe …worldview:
    dog- one chief end of living – rejoice always
    cat- one chief end of living – be ‘vinegary’ always

    wait, maybe that’s why…. oh never mind  🙂

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  5. cw l’unificateur says:Ali, Powerpoint?

    I refuse to answer so as not to give you another thing to make fun of, though I doubt my former pastor a careful, faithful, word-expositor) wouldn’t mind. I will say, from experience, there is benefit to seeing the word of God displayed in whatever format, wherever, because the word of God always accomplishes the purpose for which it is sent.

    ps. warning and threat, if you DO make fun of using ‘powerpoints’, I will send you a video

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  6. Always someone in our way, people not even beginning to grasp the concept that there is a flow that you should not be hindering.

    But they may be in the right.

    My favourites are Naboth, and the old peasant couple (and the chapel) that resist Faust’s zoning plans in Part II.

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