Taking Every Square (Liquid) Ounce Captive

Published on by D. G. Hart

In honor of the series running over at TGC on pastries, Old Calvinists may be in the mood for a post that has less to do with flour and more with peat. The following is also a confirmation of a point made one student this morning during discussion of Progressivism and Prohibition. I had not heard this before, but legend has it that Laphroiag was on sale throughout the 1920s because no one believed anyone who was not sick would drink it:

This Scotch whisky carries an interesting story with it. During Prohibition in the United States, Laphroaig was still allowed to import their whisky at its cask strength as cough medicine because the United States government deemed the whisky too strong and medicinal to be consumed recreationally.

Here is how one Scotch-drinker describes Laphroiag:

This to me is the most immediately identifiable nose in the realm of Scotch whisky—beast-like, phenolic, wheelbarrels of iodine, sea salt, nonstop peat and kippers—and as if the medicinal tidal waves aren’t enough, beneath them lies a thin layer of fino sherry—is this loutish nose too much? why am I reaching for a rifle?—on palate, the peat reek is so thick I have to scrape it off my tongue with a spatula; the three-alarm smokiness leaves scant room for anything else—I wonder if there is anything else in terms of flavor—maybe it’s just peat, smoke, peat, smoke; I appreciate the damn-the-torpedoes character of this burly brat, but if I were stranded on that proverbial island with only one single malt, Laphroaig 10 most definitely would not be my choice; make sure you have a whip and a chair handy after you open this beastie; my biggest objection to this malt is, what does a newcomer to malts think if they happen to try this five-alarm malt before tasting other, tamer, more elegant malts? Do you lose that person forever?

For (all about) me, the older I get, the more peat, hops, pepper, garlic, Honduran leaf, the more I enjoy. Is this a sign that tastebuds are wearing out?

52 thoughts on “Taking Every Square (Liquid) Ounce Captive”

  1. No surprise that Old Schoolers prefer dark, hard, hoppy, strong, peaty, or dry for their malt-, corn-, and grape-based libations. Maybe in-the-know pulpit committees should ask for drink preferences. If the candidate mentions Corona, wheat beer, or wine coolers…move along.

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  3. Maybe it’s biological anyway:

    “It all adds up, according to Hibbing, to what he calls a “negativity bias” on the right. Conservatives, Hibbing’s research suggests, go through the world more attentive to negative, threatening, and disgusting stimuli—and then they adopt tough, defensive, and aversive ideologies to match that perceived reality.”

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/04/inquiring-minds-john-hibbing-physiology-ideology

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  4. Is this a sign that tastebuds are wearing out?

    If stronger scotch, spicier foods, and more robust cigars are the necessary remedies – then what a way to go…

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  5. I find it entire possible, CW & DG, that Old Calvinism is a biological trait. It just appears in different people at different times.

    It is 100% terminal, but few would say its benefits are anything but enjoyable (see: “For (all about) me, the older I get, the more peat, hops, pepper, garlic, Honduran leaf, the more I enjoy.”).

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  7. I will not drink wheat beer. I will not drink it I say. Not today, Not tomorrow, not any day.

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  9. No, nay, never I say. Not with green eggs and ham. Not today, not tomorrow, not any day, Zram

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  10. Laphroaig seems to come around in 10 and 18 year old supplies, the older is more fulsome (to say the least).

    It is too trendy and prices go silly.

    Nice to have friends with connexions…

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  11. You guys need more healthy palliative methods. I hereby protest that there has been a shortage a cute kitty pictures around here, as of late. I seek to restore balance to this quadrant of cyberspace.

    And advertise myself with the website on my name. Click on it, and my little graph in wordpress dot com shows another clicker. Oh, and a happy Friday to the righteous ones at OL.

    Lates.

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  12. the peat reek is so thick I have to scrape it off my tongue with a spatula

    As if I would ever stop frequenting /commenting at this blog. Here’s to good days ahead, gents. Drinks are on me this round. We toast to Machen, who wouldn’t let nonsense like prohibition, get past him for a second.

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  16. I think we should be talking about cubic inches when discussing liquid. But then the ESI (or ECI) crowd would have to change their logo (i.e., rebrand).

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  18. The only time I can hop on the American exceptionalists bandwagon is when it comes to our drinks. We have taken what Europe does well and do it plain better. British Ale? I give you west coast IPA. Scotch? Well, how about Bourbon, or a tasty Rye? Hate to get all provincial here but I’d much rather the American stuff to quaffing Europe’s best. Even our wines are preferable. The only European drink that consistently tops the American stuff is Brandy, we can’t compete with Cognac and Armagnac.

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  20. Dan,

    I do enjoy Irish Whiskey, but I haven’t tried Red Breast yet. My favorite Irish is Knappogue.

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  21. Jed, Red Breast is, to me, a lot different than any other Irish. I wouldn’t turn down Knappogue, though.

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  22. It’s always been my goal to drink Scotch whiskey all night long and die behind the wheel.

    Right after I learn to work the saxophone.

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  23. I might be the only person under 30 to get that reference. And have SD on my iPod. And listen to them regularly.

    Bravo.

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  24. Erik,
    It’s always been my goal to drink Scotch whiskey all night long and die behind the wheel.

    Right after I learn to work the saxophone.

    We may have a connection here. I regularly drink Scotch whiskey and I do play saxophone… neither all night long, at least since I stopped playing in a band in those smoky joints…

    Listening to Steely Dan right now…

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  29. Erik,
    I’m still listening (still) to a long playlist I made up of Steely Dan songs as well as some of the individual offerings of Becker and Fagan. Love it…

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  31. DGH, a peat bog isn’t as peaty as Laphroiag, at least the 10 year old. (The 18 year old is no wimp, but it is a fair bit tamer– not all that much more peat than Talisker IMHO)

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  36. Erik,
    A Decade Of
    Everything Must Go
    Gaucho
    Two Against Nature

    My father is a huge SD fan, so I poached most of his library. Love it.

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  38. How did I NOT know there’s an album out there named Gaucho? Only my alma mater..

    Learn something new every day from you seasoned professionals.

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  39. Amazing. Having a local chapter of TGC is now an indication of God’s favor.

    http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2014/04/04/we-proclaim-him-signs-of-grace-in-the-twin-cities/

    What’s it mean when they build a mosque? Or, what did it mean when I35 fell into the Mississippi? I suppose the pastries in Minneapolis have improved substantially. I will be at Mayo in a couple weeks so I guess I should be expecting good things (or at least the best donuts around) from the overflow of grace.

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  41. “We are seeing these signs of grace here in the Twin Cities: pastors representing a wide swath of the denominational landscape have come together to affirm their desire to establish a local chapter of The Gospel Coalition…”

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  42. Though I’ve never tasted the stuff, I’m not sure I understand Pacult’s criticism of Laphroaig. Which is worse, a strong tasting single malt or some nasty rot-gut road kill extract like Cutty Sark or Cato?

    Like other responders, maybe it’s just that I’ve aged to the point where my taste buds have declined to the extent that spicy peppers never seem hot enough, whisky never seems too strong, and craft brewed ale never tastes excessively hoppy.

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  43. JA – Erik,

    A Decade Of
    Everything Must Go
    Gaucho
    Two Against Nature

    My father is a huge SD fan, so I poached most of his library. Love it.

    Erik – I didn’t start listening to SD seriously until my late 30s, but they’ve been around since 1972. I mourn that I discovered them so late!

    “A Decade Of” was the first CD I had. Solid.

    “Everything Must Go” – The best song is blasphemous so I tend to avoid the CD. Mainly bought it to round out the collection.

    “Gaucho” – Didn’t like it that much at first, but like it a lot now. Especially “Hey Nineteen”, “Gaucho”, and “Time Out of Mind”.

    “Two Against Nature” – Grammy winner. Really like “Jack of Speed” and “Cousin Dupree”.

    Make sure to get acquainted with “Aja”, “Kay Lied”, and “The Royal Scam” (especially side one) as well. All of “Can’t Buy a Thrill” is great. “Pretzel Logic” and “Countdown to Ecstasy” both have some solid songs — “Razor Boy” on the latter has grown on me a lot and “King of the World” is one of their best.

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  45. They forgot the caption to the photo in that Yahoo story about the Atlanta Archbishop moving out of his digs. I’m sure he’s saying, “All I need is this wooden cross! And this stapler…”

    Zrim will get that.

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  47. At least Navin Johnson made came into his wealth the old-fashioned way–inventing the Optigrab™.

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  48. make sure you have a whip and a chair handy after you open this beastie; my biggest objection to this malt is, what does a newcomer to malts think if they happen to try this five-alarm malt before tasting other, tamer, more elegant malts? Do you lose that person forever?

    Ah. The neo-Calvinism of the whiskey world.

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  49. Zrim,

    Even if he did have to pay every purchaser “One dollar and nine cents!” as a result of the class action when they went cross-eyed.

    I saw that movie in the theater when I was probably too young. I still remember that day 35 years later.

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  50. “By contrast (to Bourbon), Scotch: for me (not, I presume, for a Scot), drinking Scotch is like looking at a picture of Noel Coward. The whiskey assaults thenasopharynx with all the excitement of paregoric. Scotch drinkers (notall, of course) I think of as upward-mobile Americans, Houston and NewOrleans businessmen who graduate from Bourbon about the same time they shedseersuckers for Lilly slacks.” Walker Percy

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