. . . when you’re country is out of the World Cup championship? In point of fact, I don’t really care about what the Europeans call football, though I do get a kick of comparing the footballers’ flopping to the antics of the World Wrestling Federation. And this is surely an indication of American provincialism. We are not only the greatest nation on God’s green earth but we are also the world’s superpower trapped in the body of a colonist society.
But who cares about American rooting interests? What about the pope and former pope?
Football-mad Pope Francis “might” watch the World Cup final on Sunday between his native Argentina and Germany but is unlikely to do so alongside his German predecessor Benedict XVI, contrary to media speculation, the Vatican said.
“He might want to watch the final,” Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi said of Francis, formerly the archbishop of Buenos Aires Jorge Bergoglio – a fan and card-carrying member of the San Lorenzo de Almagro club since childhood.
But a Vatican source said he “excluded categorically” the prospect of pope emeritus Benedict XVI, an academic theologian with a penchant for classical piano, sitting down in front of his television set to watch the face-off.
“It’s really not his thing, he is not a fan. It would be like inflicting an infinite penitence on him at the age of 87,” the source said, adding: “He has never been able to watch a football match from beginning to end in his life”.
It’s an arresting image, to think of Francis and Ratzinger sitting down with some chips, salsa, and adult beverages (okay, maybe bread, cheese, olives and wine) to watch the Argentina-Germany final. Who gets the remote? Is the pope Christ’s vicar?
But why would Francis or Ratzinger care about Argentina or Germany because they both reside in the country of Vatican City, a separate sovereignty with its own bank, prison, police, and postal system? If papal power matters, Francis and Ratzinger should be rooting for the Vatican’s Cricket team.
Old Life 
Well, maybe he ain’t a football (soccer) fan, but since he comes from a South American country and it’s “all downhill” from here, maybe he’d appreciate this Chilean downhill race:
http://gadling.com/2011/03/03/downhill-bike-race-in-chile-is-insanity-at-its-finest/?ncid=&a_dgi=aolshare_email
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George, holy moly!
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When I see the fervor fans from other countries shower on their teams, I am relieved to know that America is not the only country in the world which makes idols out of their sports teams
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As an aside, I can’t say enough how disappointed I am that so many North Americans of British Isles descent increasingly take an interest in, and I wish Brits, and also Dutchies and other trans-Calais wogs’ descendants would stop influencing so many Anglo/Celt Canadians and Americans to start caring so much about that foreign sport. It’s appalling how much interest has grown in it.
C’mon! We’re better than the rest of the planet! We like real sports, like hockey, baseball, football, basketball, lacrosse, curling, and such.
Not that sport! Boring…
Remember when ‘soccer mom’ was an term of contempt by the rest of us? It wasn’t that long ago; why the sudden pro-soccer shift?
Please. Let us remember our not-caring-about-soccer heritage, as North Americans, and re-embrace it with vigour! (And not just because Ann Coulter hates it; her reasons are merely partisan / political. Mine are civilizational.)
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Priorities. Will he call for a Super Bowl ceasefire too?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/vaticancityandholysee/10962108/Vatican-calls-for-global-ceasefire-during-World-Cup-final.html
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Will, you left out the favorite of all Coen Bros. fans — keggling.
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@ DGH: Bowling is a pastime, not a sport. But it is a most noble one! 🙂
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Will, what about the pilgrim sport invented in the land of Presbyterians? But if we take Coulter’s jingoistic route, golf could be in danger.
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@ Zrim: What about it? At least it’s not soccer! 🙂
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In any case, I said we should NOT base our anti-soccer prejudices on Ann Coulter’s arguments, but simply the fact that soccer is not North American. 🙂
Golf is as much North American as it is Scottish, so that’s okay. 🙂
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But, Will, you’re sounding Coulterish. And how is golf where less is more north American where more is more?
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Look, I came here to bash soccer, not to really comment on any other sports; and don’t expect rational consistency on my part in any of this; after all, it’s a prejudice, darnit!
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Will, would that the Baylys, who think being out of their minds is a virtue, admit as much. I bet they tee off from the reds.
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On the aside:
I don’t know, Will, it seems to me that your particular brand of soccerphobia might be a little premature. Yes, tv ratings for the World Cup were up 40 percent from 2010 in the greatest nation on God’s green earth, apparently surpassing the American viewership of the NBA Finals even, at least for one game (U.S.vs Portugal), but I just don’t see soccer becoming the number one sport of viewing choice for North Americans of British Isles descent before 2120 at the earliest. 2317, for sure. I could be wrong of course, and I hope I am, since I am one those unfortunate souls of said descent who actually enjoys the boring game and thus wouldn’t mind seeing its American namesake falling to a distant second in the American sports landscape sometime during my lifetime (1981-2063?), though I must admit that I do enjoy from time to time watching Adrian Peterson make light of NFL defenses (not on the Lord’s Day of course, being the relatively good Presbyterian that I am–I know, Darryl, pride cometh before a fall), but I don’t think so. As you know, traditions die hard, some never do, which I think bodes well for you in this case. So hang in there.
Of course as a true prophet you probably feel obligated to warn the sinful masses of repenting of their unrighteous ways before the day of salvation has passed and you most certainly don’t want to be that false prophet who cries peace when there is none, but again I just think your timing might be a little off, and it’s all about timing. I say wait at least 25 years if you can, root for my three sons as they win the Jules Rimet Trophy as naturalized citizens of Spain (yes, you guessed it, I’m a soccer dad and taking Catalan and Spanish lessons for obvious reasons, and probably too proud of it, and yes, Spanish football will be back by then, hopefully.), see how things have progessed/regressed in the North American sports world, then proceed accordingly. Just a long thought and suggestion.
Darryl, I think your comparison of footballers’ flopping to the antics of WWF an humorous and appropriate one, though let me forewarn you that if you ever feel tempted to try a flop or two against the missus at home, there is always the distinct possibility that you might sustain a serious injury in the process (the missus too of course)–bruised knee (ouch!) or worse, a torn ACL (don’t worry if Hillsdale won’t cover it, the Affordable Care Act will). But despite the risks, I think such flopping exercises might actually help you develop an even deeper appreciation for the grace and skill needed to secure the sending off of your opponents number ten in the World Cup Final. Definitely one of the more noble acts one can perform on the football pitch. By the way, if in your research for your Mencken book you come across Henry’s thoughts on the jogo bonito and your memory, among other things, permits it, do consider making such knowledge public. I’m oddly genuinely interested in knowing if he would have agreed with you that soccer spoils a good run in much the same way that golf spoils a good walk. Given his love for most things German, I’m thinking he might have parted ways with you on this one.
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@ Travis: I hope you’re right that my fears that soccer has been growing in popularity by leaps and bounds in recent years, and seems almost set to go mainstream, prime-time, even, are misplaced, excessive, paranoid and delusional.
And I hope your boys are consistently last-picked on school teams and/or pick-up soccer games, never make it big, and overall fail miserably at the game. 🙂
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Will, to increase your faith in my prophetic vision of the slow but inevitable rise of soccer in North America, I thought it might be helpful to share with you what happened at the local park tonight. Having just scored a brilliant goal against my eldest son (7), I naturally proceeded to ask those adults standing near by if they had watched the World Cup Final yesterday (of course I hadn’t for reasons stated above: observant Presbyterianism; I watched it today). Eight of the nine said no, and this in soccer-mad San Diego! Now if that doesn’t make you smile I don’t know what will. Of course this is all anecdotal but you know what they say about anecdotal evidence: you can’t get any closer to the truth.
Many thanks for the well wishes concerning the boys future soccer careers. Just passed on your kind words of encouragement to them and they couldn’t be happier. Nothing better than to know you’ve got good folk rooting for you.
All the best with your own future sporting endeavors and try not to let us soccer lovers get you down too much.
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Well, that’s encouraging; thanks! 😉
And indeed, without me, they probably have a higher proportion of good folk cheering for them. 🙂
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As a wrestling fan, sometimes soccer flopping makes me think wrestling might be “real” afterall.
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Yeah, really!
What does it say about a sport, that at its highest levels, fakery of that kind is so commonplace?
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