My conscience troubles me about continuing to act in this particular movement [the YMCA]. What a joy it would be, on the other hand to continue the proclamation of the gospel and the teaching of the Bible!
If my conscience were quite at rest on the matter of principle, upon which Dr. Stevenson and I differ so widely, I should be happy now. I have drowned my troubles in a perfect debauch of classical French drama. Christmas day was typical. There was a magnificent offering at the Théâtre Français for the matinee and the Odeon for the evening. On Dec. 24, I had a severe moral struggle. It had been reported that the Paris division wanted speakers for the Christmas services. I did not want to miss the incomparable dramatic opportunities of the day. But even after I had my tickets I could not bear to think of a Christmas entirely selfish. Texts like “Woe is me if I preach not the gospel” kept coming back into my mind. So about five o’clock I called at the office of the Paris division. I did so with fear and trembling. Just suppose I should have to miss “Esther”! What was my delight? The engagement that was given me was for the morning! Hurrah! Duty was combined with pleasure. So I spent my Christmas as follows: In the morning I went out to a camp at Clichy and preached a Christmas sermon. . . . In the afternoon beginning at 1.30 P.M. I had Racine — “Esther” followed by “Les Plaideurs.” Madame Romano in “Esther” was simply superb; I do not remember when I have seen a piece of acting that impressed me more. (J. Gresham Machen to Mary Gresham Machen, Dec. 29, 1918, from The Letters from the Front, edited by Barry Waugh, pp. 243-44)
Old Life 