C-Folds or Rolls of Paper Towels

The resurrection of Jesus will help you decide (courtesy of neo-Calvinism):

To put it another way, one who says that their commitment to the primacy of preaching, leads them to have little regard for the music, parking, greeting, signage, aesthetics, friendliness, hands-on ministry, evangelism, outreach, care-giving, announcements, and so on, is simply theologizing their laziness and apathy. Abraham Kuyper once said, “There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry, Mine!” (“Sphere Sovereignty,” in James D. Bratt, ed., Abraham Kuyper, A Centennial Reader, 488). The pastor committed to the primacy of the word of Christ will be faithful and focused on the pulpit, but he should also examine every single aspect of ministry in the life of the church to make sure it reflects the glory of God in Christ. A valuable question to ask about every ministry and function in the church is, “How does the fact that Jesus Christ is risen from the dead impact the way we do this?” Also, could Christ look at how we do each aspect of our ministry and say, “Mine!”?

Embarrassment alert (thanks to Tim)!


18 thoughts on “C-Folds or Rolls of Paper Towels

  1. You know those neo-Cals.

    “The messages your environments communicate have the potential to trump your primary message. If you don’t see a mess, if you aren’t bothered by clutter, you need to make sure there is someone around you who does see it and is bothered by it. An uncomfortable or distracting setting can derail ministry before it begins. The sermon begins in the parking lot.”

    “As a preacher, it’s my responsibility to offend people with the gospel. That’s one reason we work so hard not to offend them in the parking lot, the hallway, at check-in, or in the early portions of our service. We want people to come back the following week for another round of offending!”

    “The approach a church chooses trumps its purpose every time.”

    Oh wait, that was Andy Stanley, my bad.


  2. One who asks how the fact that Jesus is risen from the dead affects their parking lot layout and the font that they use for their bulletin is just theologizing their obsessiveness and micromanagement.


  3. More important is if the TP rolls from the front or back. I could never attend a church that does the latter.


  4. I would think the resurrection of Jesus might allow Christians to think about dying if need be instead of killing. So why does Christendom use the risen Lord as an excuse for voting for some jerk who plans to “take dominion” by killing more Muslims?

    I Peter 2: For you were called to this,
    because Christ also suffered for you,
    leaving you an example,
    so that you should follow in His steps.
    22 He did not commit sin,
    and no deceit was found in His mouth;
    23 when He was reviled,
    He did not revile in return;
    when He was suffering,
    He did not threaten
    but entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly.
    24 He Himself bore our sins
    in His body on the tree,
    so that, having died to sins,
    we live for righteousness;

    II Thessalonians 2: 9 The coming of the lawless one is based on Satan’s working, with all kinds of false miracles, signs, and wonders, 10 and with every unrighteous deception among those who are perishing. They perish because they did not accept the love of the truth in order to be saved. 11 For this reason God sends them a strong delusion so that they will believe what is false, 12 so that all will be condemned—those who did not believe the truth but enjoyed unrighteousness.

    Romans 13: 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor. Love, therefore, is the fulfillment of the law. 11 Besides this, knowing the time, it is already the hour for you to wake up from sleep, for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. 12 The night is nearly over, and the daylight is near, so let us discard the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.



  5. the roll goes over the top, front, just in case you have to put a second roll into the mix for once a year emergencies


  6. Well, at Covenant College they believe in redeeming all sorts of cultural things to the glory of God. We stayed in a guest cottage some time ago. I snapped a photo of a sign in the bathroom that read…

    COVENANT COLLEGE (with logo)

    “Please do not flush anything other than toilet paper in this this bathroom.




  7. I may or may not have changed the orientation of a few toilet paper rolls in my time.

    Such direct conversion therapy is frowned upon these days, I hear.


  8. I am saddened to see the repeated sarcastic, polemical, and borderline slanderous tone that often characterizes this blog. You would be more effective, Dr. Hart, if you sought to be a scholar AND a gentleman. As an old school confessional churchman with whom I have much sympathy, I would urge you to take a long hard look at your own WLC 143-145 and consider what implications that may have for oldlife.org. Perhaps Christ does not cry “Mine” over this blog, but the nine commandment “doth forever bind all” including yourself. I would urge you to look at Colossians 3:17 as well which simply states that everything we do or say is to be done in the name of the Lord Jesus. You have been fighting the neo’s for so long I’m afraid some of your battle scars have caused you to lose sight of our one “rule of faith and life.” Your critiques are at times valid and helpful, but they would benefit from a more courteous, Christ-like tone. Blessings! ~ Tony


  9. The paper holder was affixed on the left side of the situation, being a lefty i collected the paper with my right hand (a reason certain societies don’t like lefties…) and unravelled a few squares more, sometimes to the floor

    A few people over the years were confused and unable to reason why they would come across this situation. I’d say i was a southpaw but they just went “duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”


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